Ok, new user, first post, and already I'm whining. But hear me out.
We sold our 24' Phoenix Cruiser a few years ago, and have missed it ever since. What we don't miss is the astronomical storage costs, the crappy Smart car toad, and paying taxes on $100K worth of vehicles that get used 6 weeks a year.
So we've been looking for a usable small travel trailer that's tow-able behind our daily-driver midsize SUV. Given that there are 50 million retired folks with cash in the bank, just like us, you'd think there would be a bewildering array of choices. Instead, there is a bewildering array of nearly identical crap from a dozen vendors. Why can't any these guys figure out this market?
Hey idiots -- your target market is not a pair 30-somethings with $30K to spend on a week in an 8x10 cell with a pack of kids! Your market is RETIRED COUPLES! PERIOD.
So if any of you idiot RV builders are reading this, this is how you can quit building all those thousands and thousands of unsold little campers I see at every sales lot I visit:
#1 RECLINER SOFA. THERE MUST BE A COMFORTABLE PLACE TO SIT!!! What do old people do on vacation when they're not looking at stuff? THEY WATCH TV. You can't do that sitting in some stupid little cramped dinette with 2" cushions -- or for that matter, the 2" cushions on some jackknife fake "sofa". This is an example of whet we're looing for picture of what we're looking for: DeLeon Sofa recliner. When we had the Cruiser, the 1st thing we did was rip out that ridiculous dinette and replace it with a "DeLeon" recliner couch, complete with swivel TV-trays and drink holders. Every RV made should have something like this!
#2 MURPHY BED. Old people require a comfortable REAL bed, not a bunch of foam sofa cushions covered with a sheet. When you combine a recliner couch with a real bed, the result is called a MURPHY BED. Many trailers have them. None of them are small enough to tow with an SUV, because you insist on sticking that damned worthless dinette in there, along with a full bathroom.
#3 SO, GET RID OF THAT STUPID, SPACE-WASTING DINETTE! Nobody but kids have any use whatsoever for a dinette. They are uncomfortable for any purpose short of feeding or bedding down a pack of kids. GET RID OF IT! If you've got room for one these stupid things in a sub-3,500 lb trailer, then give me a decent CLOSET, for crying out loud!
#4 CLOSET and CHEST OF DRAWERS. Who wants to live out of a suitcase in the back of an SUV for a weeks on end? Get a clue! Without that stupid dinette, you have room for civilization!
#5 TOILET. Yes, a separate shower is nice, but totally optional. An enclosed toilet is not. If the choice is closet-and-wet-bath, or toilet-and-dry-bath, we'll take the closet every single time. Nobody actually showers in a tiny RV shower anyway. That's what campgrounds are for.
#6 FREEZER AND MICROWAVE. Refrigerators are nice, but a large FREEZER is a requirement. Nobody is making 5 course dinners in a 8x10 livingroom/bedroom/kitchen, on a two-burner stove. We usually eat TV dinners on the road if we're not eating out. You only need a fridge for beer and condiments. So don't try to give me some stupid college dorm fridge with a fake freezer, stuck under the sink. We need the real deal.
#7 STORAGE SPACE. Every nook and cranny, everywhere you look. I don't need a place to hold a dance party. I need a place for my stuff.
#8 TPMS AND BRAKES. What kind of moron sells a single-axle trailer, without providing a way for the driver to monitor those toy tires back there, from 30' away in the driver's seat. And what kind of moron expects a Honda's brakes to stop a 3500 lb trailer in an emergency? There oughta be a law!
#9 CAMERA. This is not an optional convenience. We're not dragging a utility trailer across town, we're towing our home across the country. I want to see what that idiot behind me is doing before he makes me homeless 1,000 miles from home!
#10 TINY TANKS. At 70 years old, I'm not taking a week off from golf so I can go live off the grid on top a mountain. Those giant tanks are a waste of space and weight. This trailer will almost always be connected to services, in an RV park, except for...
#11 SOLAR AND BATTERIES. Between destinations, I often park at Walmart or Flying-J. So the trailer must have at least 18 hours of self-sufficiency, while running the A/C and TV, not to mention, keeping the freezer cold on a 18 hour drive. Solar seems obvious, but if you can figure out how to charge the batteries through the trailer wiring, even better.
And one last request:
#12 MAKE IT GARAGE-ABLE. Why, oh, why do you insist on sticking a Dometic A/C on the roof when an ordinary window unit works fine for such a tiny space? And why must every trailer's ceiling accommodate Wilt Chamberlain? I don't care if I have to stoop a little, if it saves me $1,000/year in storage costs! I really don't plan to spend much time standing around in it, anyway! The average garage door is 7'-6". The average American is 5'9". That gives you 21" to distribute between ground clearance and roof structure. Figure it out!
I just hope some manufacturer sees this and builds a usable trailer while I'm still young enough to buy one!
We sold our 24' Phoenix Cruiser a few years ago, and have missed it ever since. What we don't miss is the astronomical storage costs, the crappy Smart car toad, and paying taxes on $100K worth of vehicles that get used 6 weeks a year.
So we've been looking for a usable small travel trailer that's tow-able behind our daily-driver midsize SUV. Given that there are 50 million retired folks with cash in the bank, just like us, you'd think there would be a bewildering array of choices. Instead, there is a bewildering array of nearly identical crap from a dozen vendors. Why can't any these guys figure out this market?
Hey idiots -- your target market is not a pair 30-somethings with $30K to spend on a week in an 8x10 cell with a pack of kids! Your market is RETIRED COUPLES! PERIOD.
So if any of you idiot RV builders are reading this, this is how you can quit building all those thousands and thousands of unsold little campers I see at every sales lot I visit:
#1 RECLINER SOFA. THERE MUST BE A COMFORTABLE PLACE TO SIT!!! What do old people do on vacation when they're not looking at stuff? THEY WATCH TV. You can't do that sitting in some stupid little cramped dinette with 2" cushions -- or for that matter, the 2" cushions on some jackknife fake "sofa". This is an example of whet we're looing for picture of what we're looking for: DeLeon Sofa recliner. When we had the Cruiser, the 1st thing we did was rip out that ridiculous dinette and replace it with a "DeLeon" recliner couch, complete with swivel TV-trays and drink holders. Every RV made should have something like this!
#2 MURPHY BED. Old people require a comfortable REAL bed, not a bunch of foam sofa cushions covered with a sheet. When you combine a recliner couch with a real bed, the result is called a MURPHY BED. Many trailers have them. None of them are small enough to tow with an SUV, because you insist on sticking that damned worthless dinette in there, along with a full bathroom.
#3 SO, GET RID OF THAT STUPID, SPACE-WASTING DINETTE! Nobody but kids have any use whatsoever for a dinette. They are uncomfortable for any purpose short of feeding or bedding down a pack of kids. GET RID OF IT! If you've got room for one these stupid things in a sub-3,500 lb trailer, then give me a decent CLOSET, for crying out loud!
#4 CLOSET and CHEST OF DRAWERS. Who wants to live out of a suitcase in the back of an SUV for a weeks on end? Get a clue! Without that stupid dinette, you have room for civilization!
#5 TOILET. Yes, a separate shower is nice, but totally optional. An enclosed toilet is not. If the choice is closet-and-wet-bath, or toilet-and-dry-bath, we'll take the closet every single time. Nobody actually showers in a tiny RV shower anyway. That's what campgrounds are for.
#6 FREEZER AND MICROWAVE. Refrigerators are nice, but a large FREEZER is a requirement. Nobody is making 5 course dinners in a 8x10 livingroom/bedroom/kitchen, on a two-burner stove. We usually eat TV dinners on the road if we're not eating out. You only need a fridge for beer and condiments. So don't try to give me some stupid college dorm fridge with a fake freezer, stuck under the sink. We need the real deal.
#7 STORAGE SPACE. Every nook and cranny, everywhere you look. I don't need a place to hold a dance party. I need a place for my stuff.
#8 TPMS AND BRAKES. What kind of moron sells a single-axle trailer, without providing a way for the driver to monitor those toy tires back there, from 30' away in the driver's seat. And what kind of moron expects a Honda's brakes to stop a 3500 lb trailer in an emergency? There oughta be a law!
#9 CAMERA. This is not an optional convenience. We're not dragging a utility trailer across town, we're towing our home across the country. I want to see what that idiot behind me is doing before he makes me homeless 1,000 miles from home!
#10 TINY TANKS. At 70 years old, I'm not taking a week off from golf so I can go live off the grid on top a mountain. Those giant tanks are a waste of space and weight. This trailer will almost always be connected to services, in an RV park, except for...
#11 SOLAR AND BATTERIES. Between destinations, I often park at Walmart or Flying-J. So the trailer must have at least 18 hours of self-sufficiency, while running the A/C and TV, not to mention, keeping the freezer cold on a 18 hour drive. Solar seems obvious, but if you can figure out how to charge the batteries through the trailer wiring, even better.
And one last request:
#12 MAKE IT GARAGE-ABLE. Why, oh, why do you insist on sticking a Dometic A/C on the roof when an ordinary window unit works fine for such a tiny space? And why must every trailer's ceiling accommodate Wilt Chamberlain? I don't care if I have to stoop a little, if it saves me $1,000/year in storage costs! I really don't plan to spend much time standing around in it, anyway! The average garage door is 7'-6". The average American is 5'9". That gives you 21" to distribute between ground clearance and roof structure. Figure it out!
I just hope some manufacturer sees this and builds a usable trailer while I'm still young enough to buy one!
