You cant fix stupid-walmart edition

[redbaron]

I'm just back from Walmart I have to tell you this, I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things.

The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long . . . easy boy.”

Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say : “It’s okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice : “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool William.”

Well, i was really impressed, so i went outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad.”

“Thanks,” said the Granddad. “But I am William. The little trouble makers name is Kevin"

--author unknown

 

[STANDERSON]

What's the joke; 4 Wal Marts closed and put two cashiers out of work.

 

[redbaron]

I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Walmart and standing in line at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.


--author unknown

 

[Voyageurs]

And this right here is why I come to this forum. LOL.